I Can Do Hard Things, but I Can’t Do All Things.
I’m stressed out, not sleeping well, and my confidence is sagging. When things get real bad, I get a stress-induced rash on one of my hands. I have a rash on one of my hands. I’m worried about the projects I’m working on. I’m worried and agitated about the teams I’m on. I’m worried about the things I’ve had to ignore so I could focus on getting more important things done.
Why is my life like this? Why do I allow it? Will the stress ever end? Should the stress ever end?
I don’t know the answers to these questions, but they do remind me of one my favorite engineering books entitled Stress, Strain, and Strength by Robert Juvinall. His book is not really about the stress I’m feeling in my life – it’s about how engineered parts hold up under pressure – but there are some interesting parallels that put my stress in perspective and help me see that I can do hard things, but also that I can’t do all things.
To make sense of this, imagine a crowbar – a black piece of steel that’s been formed into the shape of a cane, and most often used as a lever/pry bar. To use a crowbar, one end of it is jammed underneath a heavy object or between two constrained objects, while the other end is pushed or pulled. When we apply a load to the crowbar by pushing or pulling on it, two things happen:
1. Internal stress develops in the body of the crowbar.
2. The crowbar bends or strains as it carries the load.
Whether or not that stress and strain are harmful is a matter of the crowbar’s strength. If the stress that develops in the crowbar exceeds the strength of the crowbar’s material, the bar will be damaged and less capable of doing what it was designed for. Because of how it was formed and because of the strength within it, the crowbar can do hard things, but due to the limit of its strength, it cannot do all things.
Like the crowbar, we all experience the pressures of life weighing down on us. This is particularly true when we’re constrained, such as when we have tight deadlines, or when we have limited knowledge or experience to solve a problem or finish a project. When we find ourselves in these situations, internal stress develops and we’re strained as we try to manage the load.
Important Parallel #1: Stress is productive when it is not excessive.
Whether for a mechanical system or a human system, there is healthy stress and unhealthy stress. Healthy stress allows work to be done, while unhealthy stress leads to failure. For example, there are a number of working conditions under which the crowbar is stressed but not damaged. These are the conditions the crowbar was designed for, the conditions for which the crowbar is the right tool for the job. And there are also a number of conditions under which the crowbar is stressed beyond its strength. Exposed to these conditions, the crowbar fails.
And so it is with us. The stress we feel often causes work to get done, or is the result of work. Another way to think of this, is that the conditions that cause stress are the same conditions that cause us to contribute to society. Ultimately, this stress is good and healthy until it becomes excessive.
I’ve learned that I work really well under pressure – I can get a lot done when the pressure is high. I have also noticed though, that the resulting stress has a greater chance of becoming unhealthy when I am working with externally imposed deadlines, versus internally imposed deadlines. This is one reason why I have a lot of personal deadlines for projects that are more aggressive than those of the project sponsors. (Self-Imposed Deadlines).
Important Parallel #2: Resiliency is part of healthy stress.
When a crowbar is stressed it bends and strains as it carries the load. If the load and resulting stress are kept within the crowbar’s strength, the strained crowbar will spring back to its original shape when the load is released. This is called resiliency. Resiliency – or the ability to fully spring back to an undamaged state – is not possible when stress exceeds strength.
Resiliency is a popular word these days. But how do we become more resilient? From these parallels, we learn that we’ll be more resilient when we keep our stress from becoming unhealthy. Over the years, I’ve become good at recognizing when I am getting close to my stress limit. For me, I start to shut down, meaning I am noticeably less able to focus, I start making lots of simple mistakes, and a sense of despair sets in. When I recognize this happening, I know I need to get out from underneath the burdens that are weighing me down. How do I do it? If it’s a personal project, I have to lower my expectations or extend my personal deadlines. If it’s a professional project, I need to focus on the most fundamental value-added parts, and let others fade into the background, negotiate with the client, or turn to colleagues or friends for help. It becomes a matter of managing the scope, schedule, and resources.
Important Parallel #3: Repeated low level stress causes fatigue (and burn out).
Even when an engineered part like a crowbar experiences stress that its strength can handle, repeated loading can cause fatigue. For engineered parts, fatigue causes failure because it exploits imperfections such as cracks in the material. Repeated opening and closing of a crack causes it to grow, eventually leading to failure. For the crowbar, what this means is that it can handle very large loads from time to time, but the continuous loading and unloading of even a smaller load can eventually lead to cracks and failure.
If you’re a student, you likely feel this kind of fatigue as a result of having tough classes semester after semester, or preparing for test after test, or assignment after assignment, and doing this year after year. If you’re a professional, you likely feel this kind of fatigue as a result of product launch after product launch, or design review after design review, or weekly status report after weekly status report, or even email after email. Regarding fatigue, the book Stress, Strain, and Strength lends another parallel worth considering: There is different strength limit, noticeably less than our maximum strength, called the endurance strength. Staying just below the endurance strength means we can work sustainably and continuously without getting burnt out. I find that I’m working within my endurance strength when I am excited to wake up, excited to get to work, and when the day’s hours go by so fast I can’t believe it’s already over. If you haven’t experienced this, your likely working beyond your endurance strength and becoming burned out.
Important Parallel #4: There is a way to recover from being stressed beyond our strength.
I chose the example of a crowbar because it’s obvious that the crowbar did not become a crowbar until it was bent into the shape of a cane. Permanently bending a straight steel bar into the shape of a crowbar can only be done by exposing the steel to stress beyond what it can handle. This is done by heating and pounding (forging) the steel into shape. Once the shape is cooled, it is full of internal stress, and is weaker than how it began – but it was an important part of it becoming a crowbar. Fortunately, there’s a way to recover from the trauma of the forging process and complete the transition from straight steel bar to crowbar. The recovery process is called annealing. When metal is annealed, it is slowly heated during which time the internal stresses are released and the steel returns to the strength it had before the forging. Annealing is healing.
In a real way, we’re being formed to become whatever we need to become to contribute to society in our own unique way. That process pushes us and stretches us beyond our limits and we become new people with new capability and new advantages that come with growth. But it comes at a cost; that cost is a lot of stress and sometimes stress beyond what we have strength for.
For my annealing process, I often need to walk away from what I’m currently doing, get a change of environment, breath some fresh air, and convince myself that it is okay to stop for now and get some rest. I usually struggle with stopping until I recognize that I will be more productive when I am fresh and recovered. Then I can stop. At that point I’m typically too wound up to simply go to sleep, so I try to get my mind to think about life differently. I do this by reaching out to friends and family, to see how they’re doing. Or I’ll get some exercise, or watch a ridiculously useless movie. Other times, I’ll engage in a completely creative activity like building something. An important part of my recovery is to set and achieve a very small goal related to my work. I think of this as a small win. Small wins generally give me energy to begin working again towards larger wins.
* * * * *
So, in the middle of all of my stress, and wondering about what role stress should be playing in my life, I’ve learned a few things from Robert Juvinall’s engineering book. It’s taught me this:
I can do hard things. I was made for it. The stress I feel is okay, as long as it does not exceed my strength.
I can be resilient and able to bounce back from adversity by knowing my limits and staying within them.
I can avoid burn out by knowing and staying within my endurance limit.
I can heal when I’ve pushed beyond my limit by taking time for stress-relieving activities (annealing is healing).
